I wanted the "Holy Guru" to do the inaugural post, but his holiness has vanished as usual. Guru has a habit of going on these strange holy pilgrimages, he simply vanishes in thin air… no warning at all. So doing the inaugural post comes on my shoulders, yes humble follower will do this.
My Guru is a charmer, a seducer, he is a smooth talker, and he spins a web of charm around you. He is like Guru Rajneesh, Rev. Pat Robertson, and Rev. Benny Hinn, all in one. Over the past sixteen or so years since I became Guru's disciple, his humble follower, my life has changed. I have become holy too, obviously less holy than the Guru. I can never be as holy as Guru, if I ever become as holy as His holiness, then I will become the Guru. This cannot happen since I am the humble follower and I am supposed to be his humble follower. Without follower he cannot be Guru. In order for him to be Guru, I have to be his follower and for me to be the humble follower he has to be Guru. Did you get it? No? Silly! We both need each other to be who we are.
__ forbids if I become Guru too then we'll have two Gurus, which is not possible, this is against the laws of Physics. Have you ever seen two Head Rabbis in a Synagogue, two Head Mullahs in a mosque, two Head Priests in a church or for you _less people who have never been to these places, have you ever seen two presidents in the White House?
By now you know, this mystical blog is about life, Guru (when he is not in vanished state) and I will discuss real life issues on this blog. I will tackle the issues with holy humility and humbleness and Guru will do that with holy charm.
We want to be fair to all the people of the world, we do not want to offend any one, we are an ESB (Equal Satisfaction Blog), yes the way Bank of America is Equal Housing Lender.
Since we are ESB, we will not use word "God" in our posts. We do not want to annoy our audience who do not believe in "God", or who think their "God" is different from their neighbor's "God". If we use "Allah", except from members of CIA and FBI, all our Western audience will run away. We thought we could use "Yahweh", but we are afraid we will have anti Semitic graffiti on our blog and Hamas may fire rockets on Holyman Circus. Since Bollywood is so" in" these days, we thought of using "Bhagwan", but that will offend Pakistan and Rev. Pat Robertson.
If we use "Allah, Bhagwan, God and Yahweh" all four, we will offend the minority religions and the __less. Other problem, our posts will be like this: " By "Allah, Bhagwan, God and Yahweh" I was going to write this post but "Allah, Bhagwan, God and Yahweh" had some other plans for me….. You obviously will not like that or will you? Therefore we will use __, you the reader will fill in the blank, with God, Allah, Yahweh, Sun, $, your own name your spouse’s name, your cat, dog or what ever or who ever you worship. If you don't worship anything or anybody just ignore the __.
Well to cut the story short, we can't wait any longer for Guru's return. I will inaugurate the blog. Let the circus begin.
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